My Stats
CD-no idea, I've got to get out the calendar and count
Pregnant-Unfortunately "NO!"
Weight-264 lbs.-Yikes (I thought I lost weight on vacation, but apparently not!)
Well, the good news is that XY & I are still alive and trying for a baby.
The bad news is...we're back from our wonderful vacation trip. Maine was absolutely gorgeous and relaxing. Once I get the pictures developed, I will try to include some on here for your viewing pleasure.
The other bad news is that despite all the rabid squirrel sex XY and I have been having lately in addition to the stress free vacation time, the pregnancy test I took this morning (after a slightly spotty, but basically non-existent period and some wishful thinking) came out with a decidedly heavy SINGLE pink line and I swear I could hear it saying "Na-nah, you're STILL not pregnant!" So, we will continue trying and hoping that we get pregnant despite this damn PCOS, but I guess for now I need to concentrate more on a healthy, less stressed, more exercise game plan. That and the whole IVF#1 thing.
Now that we are back from vacation, it is time for me to call the number I got from ARC to set up a loan for IVF#1 (hopefully sometime in September or October). It's really scary to think of all that debt (or whether they will even give us the money in the first place). It's even more scary to think of time passing us by and whether we should just concentrate on scrapping up money for an adoption instead.
Would I love a child as much if it were not mine biologically? If it were MINE (i.e. adoption goes through and we get to keep him/her) then YES. Would I feel sad about not having my own biological child? Honestly, YES, but let's face it here...a child, your child (whether it be born to you or adopted) is still a blessing (as long as it doesn't turn out to be a drug addicted, serial rapist/killer when it grows up).
So, although I feel like since we just got back from vacation, I have lost a day already. It's Thursday? What happened to Wednesday? I will definitely call the ARC number by tomorrow morning, since I have relatives arriving for a several week visit tomorrow afternoon and my privacy factor becomes greatly limited. Which also means I spend all day today and tomorrow morning hiding the "infertility" drugs, etc so that XY doesn't have to worry about my relatives asking him a lot of impertinent questions about our sex life.
Again, what happened to Wednesday? I now have less then 24 hours to get all this housekeeping done (and let me be the first to admit that I am NEVER going to be the best housekeeper in the world...EVER).
Have to go procrastinate and then get some cleaning done then procrastinate some more then madly clean all night...it's a vicious cycle!
Showing posts with label cycles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cycles. Show all posts
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Saturday, June 9, 2007
A Maine By Any Other Name Is Just A State
My Stats
CD-8
BMI-43
XY and I are going on vacation to Maine in a couple of weeks and the "trip" panic is beginning to set in already. I love traveling, the panic stems from the pre-leaving planning stage. Do we have all the reservations? What will I forget? Am I bringing enough books and magazines to read? Am I over packing? Will we have time to fit everyone in, so they don't feel slighted? Will we have enough traveling money? Will I end up buying lots of stuff I really don't need because we're on vacation and then come home and feel bad because we were too decadent? That kind of worrying and panic. No matter how I try to plan ahead, it never seems to work. But, I have two weeks, so if I sit down tomorrow and make a day to day list of things that absolutely must get done for the trip maybe this time it will be okay. Ha!
The funniest thing that has happened so far it that a friend of mine told me the standard "don't worry go on vacation, relax, and nine months later you'll have a baby and call it "Maine". Normally I would be annoyed with the "just relax" comment, but she was really trying to be supportive and actually the name "Maine" goes pretty well with our last name and it's got me thinking. It's not a bad name. OKAY, EVERYONE OUT THERE WHO IS READING THIS, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT STEAL "MAINE" AS A BABY NAME! If you want to call your kid, Texas or Tennessee or New Hampshire go right ahead, but if you have figured out who I am, live near me, or know me....DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT USE "MAINE" AS A BABY NAME. I had an incident happen a few years back where I had a baby name picked out and someone very close to me blatantly stole it (although she won't admit it to this day) and it caused me months of agony and I almost broke off our friendship because of it. It is a story for another time, but needless to say, while I am telling you this little vignette, Maine is still a cute name with a bit of cache' and so I would appreciate you enjoying the story but not "taking" the name (even if you give me credit). (I'll let you know several weeks after we get back from Maine if the name is up for grabs again.) Has anyone else out there ever had a selected baby name stolen from them by a family member, friend, or acquaintance? If so, how did you feel about it?
Well, in other news I made XY go to a "vascular" screening with me. We are getting to that age when free screenings and preventative screenings are beginning to seem important to me. Especially with the trying to conceive, the advancing years, and my other health problems, I want to know where I stand with regards to my health and how much I can do (should ignore doing) to make it even better. Well, our results came back and while XY wasn't happy that his BMI came back with him being "overweight" (get over it, it was only a point over and if he loses 5-10 pounds he'll be back to the "normal" range again) he basically had a clean bill of health for someone in their mid-forties. No plaque built up, good blood pressure, he's fine. I for the most part was also okay for someone in their mid-thirties. "No aneurysm, no plaque" with the typically higher (but still in normal range) blood pressure of someone who definitely weighs too much and has Type 2 Diabetes. The only weird note that makes my hypochondriac tendencies raise their hackles was a note that "aortic rather small". What the hell does that mean? It's not supposed to be "too large" that indicates an aneurysm, but what does "rather small" mean? I shouldn't worry, the Heart Center would hopefully tell me if that was a problem too, but I am going to call them back after the weekend just to reassure the worry wart that I am. (If it's not one freaking thing it's another.)
Like I said it's all just grist for my panic/worry tendencies that have built up over the years. It doesn't help that in trying to plan for this trip, I still have some reports to finish for work before I go. I'm also trying to clean house before company arrives after we get back. Oh and I also have my "consultation" with my reproductive endocrinologist this coming Thursday. I'm trying not to worry about it, but in the back of my head I keep thinking of questions to write down to ask her about at the appointment so I can figure out where I stand. At least yesterday, I mailed in my stupid $46 bill that I owe her clinic. That's one of those sticking points I'll probably talk about after the meeting on Thursday. (When we went for the last IUI I specifically asked the front desk person if I needed to pay the $46 still on top of the $335 for the insemination and they "didn't know"-read couldn't be bothered to check. So, right before I found out that IUI#4 failed, I got a "you need to pay this ASAP letter" from their billing department. People I'm trying to figure out how to come up with $14K to pay for a possible IVF and you're worried about $46 dollars which I would have paid you when I was in your office the last time, but you couldn't be bothered to check on it.) Okay well, I couldn't wait there you have it, that's one of the things that annoys me about the fourth failed IUI lately. It's not a big thing, but it's still grates on me when we've been going to this doctor for almost 2 years and still no results. I know that's not a very long time for some of you out there, but remember we've actually been trying for 7 1/2 years and I'm only getting older here people. Must stop now, I'm getting into a baby blues rut again. I should just go work on those reports and not worry about anything till the consultation on Thursday.
CD-8
BMI-43
XY and I are going on vacation to Maine in a couple of weeks and the "trip" panic is beginning to set in already. I love traveling, the panic stems from the pre-leaving planning stage. Do we have all the reservations? What will I forget? Am I bringing enough books and magazines to read? Am I over packing? Will we have time to fit everyone in, so they don't feel slighted? Will we have enough traveling money? Will I end up buying lots of stuff I really don't need because we're on vacation and then come home and feel bad because we were too decadent? That kind of worrying and panic. No matter how I try to plan ahead, it never seems to work. But, I have two weeks, so if I sit down tomorrow and make a day to day list of things that absolutely must get done for the trip maybe this time it will be okay. Ha!
The funniest thing that has happened so far it that a friend of mine told me the standard "don't worry go on vacation, relax, and nine months later you'll have a baby and call it "Maine". Normally I would be annoyed with the "just relax" comment, but she was really trying to be supportive and actually the name "Maine" goes pretty well with our last name and it's got me thinking. It's not a bad name. OKAY, EVERYONE OUT THERE WHO IS READING THIS, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT STEAL "MAINE" AS A BABY NAME! If you want to call your kid, Texas or Tennessee or New Hampshire go right ahead, but if you have figured out who I am, live near me, or know me....DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT USE "MAINE" AS A BABY NAME. I had an incident happen a few years back where I had a baby name picked out and someone very close to me blatantly stole it (although she won't admit it to this day) and it caused me months of agony and I almost broke off our friendship because of it. It is a story for another time, but needless to say, while I am telling you this little vignette, Maine is still a cute name with a bit of cache' and so I would appreciate you enjoying the story but not "taking" the name (even if you give me credit). (I'll let you know several weeks after we get back from Maine if the name is up for grabs again.) Has anyone else out there ever had a selected baby name stolen from them by a family member, friend, or acquaintance? If so, how did you feel about it?
Well, in other news I made XY go to a "vascular" screening with me. We are getting to that age when free screenings and preventative screenings are beginning to seem important to me. Especially with the trying to conceive, the advancing years, and my other health problems, I want to know where I stand with regards to my health and how much I can do (should ignore doing) to make it even better. Well, our results came back and while XY wasn't happy that his BMI came back with him being "overweight" (get over it, it was only a point over and if he loses 5-10 pounds he'll be back to the "normal" range again) he basically had a clean bill of health for someone in their mid-forties. No plaque built up, good blood pressure, he's fine. I for the most part was also okay for someone in their mid-thirties. "No aneurysm, no plaque" with the typically higher (but still in normal range) blood pressure of someone who definitely weighs too much and has Type 2 Diabetes. The only weird note that makes my hypochondriac tendencies raise their hackles was a note that "aortic rather small". What the hell does that mean? It's not supposed to be "too large" that indicates an aneurysm, but what does "rather small" mean? I shouldn't worry, the Heart Center would hopefully tell me if that was a problem too, but I am going to call them back after the weekend just to reassure the worry wart that I am. (If it's not one freaking thing it's another.)
Like I said it's all just grist for my panic/worry tendencies that have built up over the years. It doesn't help that in trying to plan for this trip, I still have some reports to finish for work before I go. I'm also trying to clean house before company arrives after we get back. Oh and I also have my "consultation" with my reproductive endocrinologist this coming Thursday. I'm trying not to worry about it, but in the back of my head I keep thinking of questions to write down to ask her about at the appointment so I can figure out where I stand. At least yesterday, I mailed in my stupid $46 bill that I owe her clinic. That's one of those sticking points I'll probably talk about after the meeting on Thursday. (When we went for the last IUI I specifically asked the front desk person if I needed to pay the $46 still on top of the $335 for the insemination and they "didn't know"-read couldn't be bothered to check. So, right before I found out that IUI#4 failed, I got a "you need to pay this ASAP letter" from their billing department. People I'm trying to figure out how to come up with $14K to pay for a possible IVF and you're worried about $46 dollars which I would have paid you when I was in your office the last time, but you couldn't be bothered to check on it.) Okay well, I couldn't wait there you have it, that's one of the things that annoys me about the fourth failed IUI lately. It's not a big thing, but it's still grates on me when we've been going to this doctor for almost 2 years and still no results. I know that's not a very long time for some of you out there, but remember we've actually been trying for 7 1/2 years and I'm only getting older here people. Must stop now, I'm getting into a baby blues rut again. I should just go work on those reports and not worry about anything till the consultation on Thursday.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
The Waiting Game
My Stats
CD-18
Weight-248.4 lb
BMI-43.7 (by my scale)
Days w/o Bread=22
Between work and this IUI cycle it has been a crazy two weeks. I did the Follistim and Ganirellix again on CD 8. I did my HCG trigger shot on the following day. (Monday, CD 9). Tuesday was a day of rest. Then last Wednesday (CD 9) it was the two hour drive to the fertility clinic for IUI#4. It went pretty well. We had to be there by 7:20am, so that XY could make his deposit. About an hour and a half later it was my turn. This time the procedure was done by one of the nurses, but I like her a lot and I didn't even feel it when she inserted the catheter. XY's count was 193,000,000 swimmers so unless someone pipes up and tells me that sucks, I'm pretty happy with that amount. Of course, it was the usual "only 10 minute" wait till I could put my legs down and head home. (We milked it for an extra 5 minutes though-just to make me feel better.) Is it just me or does every other gal out there hate the thought of having a plastic bag covered sponge stuck up their cooch for 4 hours after the procedure. Granted it doesn't hurt and if they do it right, you can't feel it, but not exactly a highlight on my "to do" list.
Well, afterwards XY was sweet enough to offer up the caveats of lunch at a nice restaurant and a trip to Borders. Strolling around Borders before the cramps start up (a given) for magazines and books to lay around and look at in bed later that afternoon is definitely a nice way to say "thanks for trying to get knocked up with my baby."
So, of course the final instructions were "have sex" tomorrow, then start up with the Prometrium 200mg supplements twice a day the day after that during the 2WW. That's where we're at-it's been a week of fun suppositories, but if it works...I'm all for it! That's it for now. Time to get back to concentrating on the season finale of "Lost". I will be so sad if they kill Charlie off and it is permanent!
CD-18
Weight-248.4 lb
BMI-43.7 (by my scale)
Days w/o Bread=22
Between work and this IUI cycle it has been a crazy two weeks. I did the Follistim and Ganirellix again on CD 8. I did my HCG trigger shot on the following day. (Monday, CD 9). Tuesday was a day of rest. Then last Wednesday (CD 9) it was the two hour drive to the fertility clinic for IUI#4. It went pretty well. We had to be there by 7:20am, so that XY could make his deposit. About an hour and a half later it was my turn. This time the procedure was done by one of the nurses, but I like her a lot and I didn't even feel it when she inserted the catheter. XY's count was 193,000,000 swimmers so unless someone pipes up and tells me that sucks, I'm pretty happy with that amount. Of course, it was the usual "only 10 minute" wait till I could put my legs down and head home. (We milked it for an extra 5 minutes though-just to make me feel better.) Is it just me or does every other gal out there hate the thought of having a plastic bag covered sponge stuck up their cooch for 4 hours after the procedure. Granted it doesn't hurt and if they do it right, you can't feel it, but not exactly a highlight on my "to do" list.
Well, afterwards XY was sweet enough to offer up the caveats of lunch at a nice restaurant and a trip to Borders. Strolling around Borders before the cramps start up (a given) for magazines and books to lay around and look at in bed later that afternoon is definitely a nice way to say "thanks for trying to get knocked up with my baby."
So, of course the final instructions were "have sex" tomorrow, then start up with the Prometrium 200mg supplements twice a day the day after that during the 2WW. That's where we're at-it's been a week of fun suppositories, but if it works...I'm all for it! That's it for now. Time to get back to concentrating on the season finale of "Lost". I will be so sad if they kill Charlie off and it is permanent!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Hugh Darling...Could You Pass Me That Shot of Ganirelix?
Stats
CD-8 (Sunday night)
Fertility Drugs-Follistim 225, Ganirelix 0.5 mL syringe (Sat & Sun nights)
Other Medications-Prenatal & Vitamin C, Synthroid, Metformin x2
Days w/o Bread=12
Well, three more days till IUI#4. I'm trying to stay positive, happy, and in the "this time it's going to work" mood. My meds have been upped from just Follistim 225 to Follistim 225 plus a syringe of Ganirelix .5 mL last night and tonight. A funny thing happened on the way to the injection site.
Last night, I promised my neighbor we would go see "Music and Lyrics" at the cheap theater. I had asked her if she wanted to go Friday, but that was a bust and we rescheduled for Saturday. Unfortunately I had a new desk delivered at 6:45am! Let me tell you right now, I am NOT a morning person. To make matters worse, I had a whopping case of insomnia the night before and didn't get to bed till almost 5:30am as it was. The closer it gets to summer, the more insomnia creeps into my life. Add that to the fact that I am totally worried about IUI try #4 and you have a recipe for a disastrously unproductive weekend. After the wonderful, new desk was delivered and set up, I trundled back to bed in zombie like fashion. Unfortunately my sweet XY decided to wake me up four hours later because he wanted me to eat something. ("Well you're Type II diabetic, I was worried about your blood sugar.") After having eaten something, I proceeded to get in a very snippy row with XY because he was loudly complaining about the dirty dishes in the sink (okay they were bad and the pile was high) while I was trying to go back to sleep. One clean sink of dishes later (of course that wasn't all of them) and one threat that he'd better not do the rest of them while I was sleeping (otherwise he should have just kept his mouth shut in the first place and let me sleep), I was back in coma land. Only to be woken up three hours later by the phone and the neighbor across the street wanting to know what time we were leaving for the movie. Not wanting to drag this out any further (even though I was totally worried about taking my fertility drugs on time) I told her 6:30pm and proceeded to drag myself out of bed and take a shower to wake up.
I did try to call the pharmacy in Massachusetts where my fertility drugs come from, but unfortunately they were already closed for the day. I then proceeded to try the previous pharmacy I got my drugs from in Texas (the one I really liked till my bastard insurance company switched preferred providers on me) but they were also closed. I finally called the local pharmacy and just asked them what date to go by, the weird "discard" date or the "expiration" date. They said expiration date, so I felt better that I would not be wasting any fertility drugs and took the gal on the phone's word for it.
Follistim AQ pen and Ganirelix Acetate prefilled syringe in my bag, I headed off to see the dishy Hugh Grant on the celluloid screen. The movie was pretty good for a chick flick. Brad Garrett's sidekick manager/friend character could have been funnier and Drew Barrymore's character could have been a little less neurotic, but Hugh was definitely dishy. They even threw in an obligatory naked chest scene. All the more reason to pay my $3 plus popcorn and diet pop to go see Hugh on the big scene. Of course, I did keep checking my watch to see if 9pm was fast approaching. (My shoot up time.) The credits were just rolling at 9pm and I didn't want to wait another 15-30 minutes to take my fertility shots at home, so I slipped into the bathroom to shoot up. There were three girls ahead of me, who gave me a "don't queue barge" look when I passed them to get to the sinks and wash my hands. By the time I had disinfected and pulled out the syringes the line was twice as long and I really didn't want to pull down my jeans, expose my jelly belly, and shoot up in front of a bunch of strangers so I got back in line. I felt I had to explain to the woman next to me why I was getting back in line when she looked at the case in my hand and proceeded to ask me if I hadn't already gone. So of course everyone else in line heard me say "well I have to take some meds and I'm sure no one wants to watch me stick a needle in myself." Great-but frankly I'll never see those people again, so who cares. I finally got in a stall and was giving myself the second injection when my neighbor popped in to check if I was okay. Explaining about the line of people and the prep time (okay it took me 20 minutes to do the whole thing) I exited the stall and proceeded to head out the door. Frankly I hate that my neighbor knows so much about my fertility stuff, since it's not like she's my best friend or anything, but somehow it is easier to just give her too much information when she asks questions than to try to fake the fact that I am going through all this. I guess I feel that if people ask, I'd rather tell them warts and all then try to spare them their "discomfort". Hey if you ask, I'm gonna tell. If you don't want to know, then don't ask.
So, that was last night. Today was much more productive (although never productive enough). I took the second set of Follistim and Ganirelix shots with little incident. (Okay the plunger on the Ganirelix almost came off, but I didn't panic and got it all injected in me so everything should be fine.) I've been a little crampy and gassy since then, but that's a small price to pay for the chance to get pregnant and have a baby.
Tomorrow, the trigger shot! [I have another meeting tomorrow night, but I am definitely leaving said meeting early if it looks like it will go past 8pm. There is NO WAY I am going to try to mix up an HCG shot of liquid with powder and change the long needle to a short needle in the bathroom of Red Lobster. Not if I can help it!]
P.S. XY and I did get in one bit of business this morning, so that is one less thing I have to worry about. You would think sex would be relaxing, but when the RE nurse is telling you a minimum of 2-3 days abstinence before the procedure, well I want it all to go off without a hitch and work and XY just feels the pressure to perform. It doesn't make for the most relaxing baby making. I'll just be happy once it's Wednesday afternoon and IUI#4 is done. Course, then there is the 2WW, but let's not put the cart before the horse just yet.
CD-8 (Sunday night)
Fertility Drugs-Follistim 225, Ganirelix 0.5 mL syringe (Sat & Sun nights)
Other Medications-Prenatal & Vitamin C, Synthroid, Metformin x2
Days w/o Bread=12
Well, three more days till IUI#4. I'm trying to stay positive, happy, and in the "this time it's going to work" mood. My meds have been upped from just Follistim 225 to Follistim 225 plus a syringe of Ganirelix .5 mL last night and tonight. A funny thing happened on the way to the injection site.
Last night, I promised my neighbor we would go see "Music and Lyrics" at the cheap theater. I had asked her if she wanted to go Friday, but that was a bust and we rescheduled for Saturday. Unfortunately I had a new desk delivered at 6:45am! Let me tell you right now, I am NOT a morning person. To make matters worse, I had a whopping case of insomnia the night before and didn't get to bed till almost 5:30am as it was. The closer it gets to summer, the more insomnia creeps into my life. Add that to the fact that I am totally worried about IUI try #4 and you have a recipe for a disastrously unproductive weekend. After the wonderful, new desk was delivered and set up, I trundled back to bed in zombie like fashion. Unfortunately my sweet XY decided to wake me up four hours later because he wanted me to eat something. ("Well you're Type II diabetic, I was worried about your blood sugar.") After having eaten something, I proceeded to get in a very snippy row with XY because he was loudly complaining about the dirty dishes in the sink (okay they were bad and the pile was high) while I was trying to go back to sleep. One clean sink of dishes later (of course that wasn't all of them) and one threat that he'd better not do the rest of them while I was sleeping (otherwise he should have just kept his mouth shut in the first place and let me sleep), I was back in coma land. Only to be woken up three hours later by the phone and the neighbor across the street wanting to know what time we were leaving for the movie. Not wanting to drag this out any further (even though I was totally worried about taking my fertility drugs on time) I told her 6:30pm and proceeded to drag myself out of bed and take a shower to wake up.
I did try to call the pharmacy in Massachusetts where my fertility drugs come from, but unfortunately they were already closed for the day. I then proceeded to try the previous pharmacy I got my drugs from in Texas (the one I really liked till my bastard insurance company switched preferred providers on me) but they were also closed. I finally called the local pharmacy and just asked them what date to go by, the weird "discard" date or the "expiration" date. They said expiration date, so I felt better that I would not be wasting any fertility drugs and took the gal on the phone's word for it.
Follistim AQ pen and Ganirelix Acetate prefilled syringe in my bag, I headed off to see the dishy Hugh Grant on the celluloid screen. The movie was pretty good for a chick flick. Brad Garrett's sidekick manager/friend character could have been funnier and Drew Barrymore's character could have been a little less neurotic, but Hugh was definitely dishy. They even threw in an obligatory naked chest scene. All the more reason to pay my $3 plus popcorn and diet pop to go see Hugh on the big scene. Of course, I did keep checking my watch to see if 9pm was fast approaching. (My shoot up time.) The credits were just rolling at 9pm and I didn't want to wait another 15-30 minutes to take my fertility shots at home, so I slipped into the bathroom to shoot up. There were three girls ahead of me, who gave me a "don't queue barge" look when I passed them to get to the sinks and wash my hands. By the time I had disinfected and pulled out the syringes the line was twice as long and I really didn't want to pull down my jeans, expose my jelly belly, and shoot up in front of a bunch of strangers so I got back in line. I felt I had to explain to the woman next to me why I was getting back in line when she looked at the case in my hand and proceeded to ask me if I hadn't already gone. So of course everyone else in line heard me say "well I have to take some meds and I'm sure no one wants to watch me stick a needle in myself." Great-but frankly I'll never see those people again, so who cares. I finally got in a stall and was giving myself the second injection when my neighbor popped in to check if I was okay. Explaining about the line of people and the prep time (okay it took me 20 minutes to do the whole thing) I exited the stall and proceeded to head out the door. Frankly I hate that my neighbor knows so much about my fertility stuff, since it's not like she's my best friend or anything, but somehow it is easier to just give her too much information when she asks questions than to try to fake the fact that I am going through all this. I guess I feel that if people ask, I'd rather tell them warts and all then try to spare them their "discomfort". Hey if you ask, I'm gonna tell. If you don't want to know, then don't ask.
So, that was last night. Today was much more productive (although never productive enough). I took the second set of Follistim and Ganirelix shots with little incident. (Okay the plunger on the Ganirelix almost came off, but I didn't panic and got it all injected in me so everything should be fine.) I've been a little crampy and gassy since then, but that's a small price to pay for the chance to get pregnant and have a baby.
Tomorrow, the trigger shot! [I have another meeting tomorrow night, but I am definitely leaving said meeting early if it looks like it will go past 8pm. There is NO WAY I am going to try to mix up an HCG shot of liquid with powder and change the long needle to a short needle in the bathroom of Red Lobster. Not if I can help it!]
P.S. XY and I did get in one bit of business this morning, so that is one less thing I have to worry about. You would think sex would be relaxing, but when the RE nurse is telling you a minimum of 2-3 days abstinence before the procedure, well I want it all to go off without a hitch and work and XY just feels the pressure to perform. It doesn't make for the most relaxing baby making. I'll just be happy once it's Wednesday afternoon and IUI#4 is done. Course, then there is the 2WW, but let's not put the cart before the horse just yet.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Freaking Eater of Blog Post.....
My Stats
CD-6
Fertility Drugs-Follistim AQ
Other Drugs-Synthroid, Metformin x2, Prenatal & Vitamin C
Days w/o Bread=10
I am so freaking pissed right now! I just wrote this long post about what's going on right now and the bloody computer ate it!
Basically I am freaking out about the fact that I screwed up and got sidetracked and took my Follistim (225 units) shot an hour late. It was supposed to be at 9pm and I spaced it and didn't realize till 10pm that I hadn't taken it. Of course, I jumped up and took it right away then, but I'm freaking that it might screw up IUI#4. I went and tried to look at another infertility blog to see if I could find the answer. I finally Googled it and found a website for an infertility clinic with a FAQ page that said not taking it at "exactly" the same time as the night before shouldn't screw up the IUI procedure. Phew...dodged a bullet there. Of course, if IUI#4 doesn't work then I will totally know that my taking the shot an hour late is the cause for another failure.
I'm also worried because I start my Ganirelix shot tomorrow night. In preparation, I was looking at my supply and while I have enough I realized that one of the boxes has an "expiration" date of April 2008, but the prescription label has a "discard" date of 5/10/2007. If I take the shot tomorrow night then it will be 2 days past the discard date. I don't want to take a shot that might be too old, but on the other hand I don't want to waste any infertility drugs if I don't have to. I tried searching for the difference between "expiration" and "discard" date, but couldn't find anything. I know I will call the 1-800 number for the pharmacy tomorrow and ask them, but in the meantime does anyone out there know what the difference is between the two dates? If I take the Ganirelix 2 days past the "discard" date, but before the expiration date, should it be okay? Which date is more important?
Here is a quick update on my status.
Took Follistim AQ shot (225 units) Tues, Wed, Thurs
Had blood work and ultrasound#2 today (Friday)
Took Follistim AQ shot (225 units) Friday night (but one hour late)
Sat&Sun-will take Follistim (225 units) plus a pre-filled shot of Ganirelix both nights.
Sometime by Sunday have sex with XY. (RE office nurse said abstinence before procedure of a minimum of 2-3 days.)
Monday night-Give self HCG trigger shot
Tuesday-nothing
Wednesday-Drive almost 2 hours to RE's office so XY & I are there by 7:20am (yikes) for IUI#4. (Take entire day off work, rather than make previous mistake of going back to work after procedure.)
In the meantime any positive thoughts/prayers would be appreciated. I have an acupuncture appointment on Tuesday to hopefully help me relax before the procedure on Wednesday morning. I am currently trying to think positive thoughts, send up imploring wishes to any gods/goddesses listening. Offering up bushels of pomegranates to Persephone for any fertility mojo she can send my way.
CD-6
Fertility Drugs-Follistim AQ
Other Drugs-Synthroid, Metformin x2, Prenatal & Vitamin C
Days w/o Bread=10
I am so freaking pissed right now! I just wrote this long post about what's going on right now and the bloody computer ate it!
Basically I am freaking out about the fact that I screwed up and got sidetracked and took my Follistim (225 units) shot an hour late. It was supposed to be at 9pm and I spaced it and didn't realize till 10pm that I hadn't taken it. Of course, I jumped up and took it right away then, but I'm freaking that it might screw up IUI#4. I went and tried to look at another infertility blog to see if I could find the answer. I finally Googled it and found a website for an infertility clinic with a FAQ page that said not taking it at "exactly" the same time as the night before shouldn't screw up the IUI procedure. Phew...dodged a bullet there. Of course, if IUI#4 doesn't work then I will totally know that my taking the shot an hour late is the cause for another failure.
I'm also worried because I start my Ganirelix shot tomorrow night. In preparation, I was looking at my supply and while I have enough I realized that one of the boxes has an "expiration" date of April 2008, but the prescription label has a "discard" date of 5/10/2007. If I take the shot tomorrow night then it will be 2 days past the discard date. I don't want to take a shot that might be too old, but on the other hand I don't want to waste any infertility drugs if I don't have to. I tried searching for the difference between "expiration" and "discard" date, but couldn't find anything. I know I will call the 1-800 number for the pharmacy tomorrow and ask them, but in the meantime does anyone out there know what the difference is between the two dates? If I take the Ganirelix 2 days past the "discard" date, but before the expiration date, should it be okay? Which date is more important?
Here is a quick update on my status.
Took Follistim AQ shot (225 units) Tues, Wed, Thurs
Had blood work and ultrasound#2 today (Friday)
Took Follistim AQ shot (225 units) Friday night (but one hour late)
Sat&Sun-will take Follistim (225 units) plus a pre-filled shot of Ganirelix both nights.
Sometime by Sunday have sex with XY. (RE office nurse said abstinence before procedure of a minimum of 2-3 days.)
Monday night-Give self HCG trigger shot
Tuesday-nothing
Wednesday-Drive almost 2 hours to RE's office so XY & I are there by 7:20am (yikes) for IUI#4. (Take entire day off work, rather than make previous mistake of going back to work after procedure.)
In the meantime any positive thoughts/prayers would be appreciated. I have an acupuncture appointment on Tuesday to hopefully help me relax before the procedure on Wednesday morning. I am currently trying to think positive thoughts, send up imploring wishes to any gods/goddesses listening. Offering up bushels of pomegranates to Persephone for any fertility mojo she can send my way.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Pass Me the Drugs...Fertility That Is
My Stats
CD-3
Weight-251
BMI-44
Days w/o Bread-7
Cysts-Big Fat Whopping Zero-Yahoo!
Fertility Drugs-Follistim 225 units tonight, W, & TH
Other/more Fertility Drug Helpers-prenatal vitamin, vitamin C, Metformin (2x a day), and a "small" shot of insulin right at bedtime.
I am so psyched. Progress is finally being made on all fronts. I went to the OB/GYN office this morning for my baseline ultrasound (u/s) and the tech informed me that she didn't see any cysts! First time in 6 months. (Well I'm not sure about December or February since I just couldn't face doing an IUI procedure either of those months.) I guess the low estrogen BCP my RE had me on this last month did the job. I spent the whole month feeling weird about taking those pills. (I think it's strange taking BCP when you are actually trying to "get" pregnant, not "prevent" pregnancy. My family history also now includes immediate family members who have had blood clots, so that is another freak out factor regarding the pill.) I know all these other fertility drugs (and the weight) can increase my chances for clots, but I really try not to think about that. Either way it looks like the BCP worked, so it was worth the worry. I just had to wait for my RE's office to call regarding the faxed results for a definite confirmation and I got it. No cyst, start the fertility drugs tonight.
I'm starting out with Follistim 225 units for the first three nights. This is typical from the last 3 IUI's I went through. It's reassuring to have the routine down, but the fact that the last three attempts failed does make me wonder if this combination of drugs is really working for me. The job is to induce my ovaries to produce healthy follicles, but at IUI#3 the nurse admitted that they do the procedure after the trigger shot assuming at least one mature egg will roll down the shoot, but they can't actually guarantee that it will happen. No real way to prove that I've actually ovulated. It's just a hope that I did and that XY's catheter inserted sperm will be strong enough and healthy enough to find that minuscule egg and fertilize it.
Either way, I am so excited to finally have cyst free ovaries so that we can try another round of IUI. I took my first shot (LOVE the ease of the Follistim pen) at 9pm tonight and aside from a little cramping (which never happened before with the Follistim) so far so good.
Other positive news: I haven't had any bread in a week and I've already lost 5 pounds. Now I know it's early in the race, but considering I haven't done any extra exercising I think it's a good sign that I'm down 5 whole pounds which brings my BMI down about a whole point! I know in the future I can't expect such quick results every week, but 5 lbs + 0 cysts = a good sign.
CD-3
Weight-251
BMI-44
Days w/o Bread-7
Cysts-Big Fat Whopping Zero-Yahoo!
Fertility Drugs-Follistim 225 units tonight, W, & TH
Other/more Fertility Drug Helpers-prenatal vitamin, vitamin C, Metformin (2x a day), and a "small" shot of insulin right at bedtime.
I am so psyched. Progress is finally being made on all fronts. I went to the OB/GYN office this morning for my baseline ultrasound (u/s) and the tech informed me that she didn't see any cysts! First time in 6 months. (Well I'm not sure about December or February since I just couldn't face doing an IUI procedure either of those months.) I guess the low estrogen BCP my RE had me on this last month did the job. I spent the whole month feeling weird about taking those pills. (I think it's strange taking BCP when you are actually trying to "get" pregnant, not "prevent" pregnancy. My family history also now includes immediate family members who have had blood clots, so that is another freak out factor regarding the pill.) I know all these other fertility drugs (and the weight) can increase my chances for clots, but I really try not to think about that. Either way it looks like the BCP worked, so it was worth the worry. I just had to wait for my RE's office to call regarding the faxed results for a definite confirmation and I got it. No cyst, start the fertility drugs tonight.
I'm starting out with Follistim 225 units for the first three nights. This is typical from the last 3 IUI's I went through. It's reassuring to have the routine down, but the fact that the last three attempts failed does make me wonder if this combination of drugs is really working for me. The job is to induce my ovaries to produce healthy follicles, but at IUI#3 the nurse admitted that they do the procedure after the trigger shot assuming at least one mature egg will roll down the shoot, but they can't actually guarantee that it will happen. No real way to prove that I've actually ovulated. It's just a hope that I did and that XY's catheter inserted sperm will be strong enough and healthy enough to find that minuscule egg and fertilize it.
Either way, I am so excited to finally have cyst free ovaries so that we can try another round of IUI. I took my first shot (LOVE the ease of the Follistim pen) at 9pm tonight and aside from a little cramping (which never happened before with the Follistim) so far so good.
Other positive news: I haven't had any bread in a week and I've already lost 5 pounds. Now I know it's early in the race, but considering I haven't done any extra exercising I think it's a good sign that I'm down 5 whole pounds which brings my BMI down about a whole point! I know in the future I can't expect such quick results every week, but 5 lbs + 0 cysts = a good sign.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Little White Pills
CD-1/2 (almost Day 1)
Weight-253.4 lbs
BMI-44.2
Days w/o Bread-4
Sometimes I think that the idea of ever having a baby is just a huge fantasy. It's like something right out of "Alice in Wonderland." It's falling down a rabbit hole, having to decide which side of the cookie you want to bite. It's relying on hopes, dreams, potions, and pills.
I finished the white pills out of my birth control pack. It feels so wrong taking birth control pills when I'm trying to get pregnant. I know that the RE has her reasons. I had three cycles with cysts and the "just rest and see if they go away on their own" directive obviously wasn't working. Hopefully taking the BC pills will even out my hormones enough to create a "normal" cycle. All I know is that I'm onto the placebo/iron pills of the pack and my period is starting. Not enough to call today (Saturday) day one, but I think I can definitely call tomorrow CD1.
If all goes well, this time I'll get the green light to shoot up a lot of infertility drugs (or should that just be fertility drugs) and XY and I can attempt IUI#4. Of course it couldn't be the worst possible time to try this with my work schedule this month, but the worst of my commitments don't begin till the 23rd. So if tomorrow is CD1 and we usually try an IUI between CD12-14, then at the worst CD14 would be the 20Th and I can just squeeze in the IUI before my stressful work deadlines arrive. (And we know how good stress is during all these proceedings!)
On a positive note, I've gone four whole days without any types of bread. I was really tempted to eat a burrito yesterday, but I stopped myself. XY came back from his work trip and the homecoming didn't go as well as I would have liked, but by the end of the day things had settled down so we went out to get a quick bite to eat. Dinner came with bread, but I passed it up. (It didn't even look very tempting.) I haven't told XY about my self-imposed ban on bread for the month, but he didn't seem to notice anyway. I also noticed that I dropped almost 3 pounds in the last 4 days so that's at least a "tiny" bit reassuring that this crazy idea might not be so crazy after all.
Weight-253.4 lbs
BMI-44.2
Days w/o Bread-4
Sometimes I think that the idea of ever having a baby is just a huge fantasy. It's like something right out of "Alice in Wonderland." It's falling down a rabbit hole, having to decide which side of the cookie you want to bite. It's relying on hopes, dreams, potions, and pills.
I finished the white pills out of my birth control pack. It feels so wrong taking birth control pills when I'm trying to get pregnant. I know that the RE has her reasons. I had three cycles with cysts and the "just rest and see if they go away on their own" directive obviously wasn't working. Hopefully taking the BC pills will even out my hormones enough to create a "normal" cycle. All I know is that I'm onto the placebo/iron pills of the pack and my period is starting. Not enough to call today (Saturday) day one, but I think I can definitely call tomorrow CD1.
If all goes well, this time I'll get the green light to shoot up a lot of infertility drugs (or should that just be fertility drugs) and XY and I can attempt IUI#4. Of course it couldn't be the worst possible time to try this with my work schedule this month, but the worst of my commitments don't begin till the 23rd. So if tomorrow is CD1 and we usually try an IUI between CD12-14, then at the worst CD14 would be the 20Th and I can just squeeze in the IUI before my stressful work deadlines arrive. (And we know how good stress is during all these proceedings!)
On a positive note, I've gone four whole days without any types of bread. I was really tempted to eat a burrito yesterday, but I stopped myself. XY came back from his work trip and the homecoming didn't go as well as I would have liked, but by the end of the day things had settled down so we went out to get a quick bite to eat. Dinner came with bread, but I passed it up. (It didn't even look very tempting.) I haven't told XY about my self-imposed ban on bread for the month, but he didn't seem to notice anyway. I also noticed that I dropped almost 3 pounds in the last 4 days so that's at least a "tiny" bit reassuring that this crazy idea might not be so crazy after all.
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