Men, Marriage Counseling and Maybe some Hope

It has been a wild not so fun ride these past 6 months...I have totally lost focus on who I am and who I want to be. I finally realized I was depressed about my marriage and the baby not happening thing and well....I let myself be sidetracked by men who showed an interest when my husband did not. I'm going to be honest here and say "NO....I did not sleep with any one else" but I was flattered by the attention of other men who made me realize that I am not dead and that I do want a baby but a baby should not define me but I think it actually does or the lack of one does. Does that sound harsh? I am not trying to say a baby will make everything hunky dorrie but I am saying that it is actually quite important for me to have a child and continue to make a go at trying to have my own child. I want a child, I want my husband to want to have a child with me to be more engaged in our marriage and OUR family unit and his seeming apathy because he doesn't like to "plan" has worn thin these past several months and I have let myself be sidetracked, not a good thing but there I've said it and I've been using these past six months to really work on myself for me, not for him....is it working, not 100% but I think some progress has been made and I certainly have gained a friend and well more up soon on the trip to the new Reporductive Endocrinologist/Infertility Specialist but I just wanted to at least post some kind of blog because it has been so long....I definitely need some support...