Friday, July 20, 2007

Avoidance is My Middle Name

My Stats

CD-???, really must get back to keeping track
Height-5 ft 4 1/2 in.
Weight-257 lbs

Okay, a quick note so that if there are actually any people out there who read this blog you won't think I have disappeared.

Well, I have a full house. Three different relatives visiting all at the same time for two weeks, then it just goes down to my mother who will be here for two weeks after that.

I just found out I need gall bladder surgery. (Sunday night trip to the local emergency room because of a really bad attack.) So, I am fitting that in-between my niece & nephew's visit and the three days of new computer system training that my boss scheduled for the first week of August.

Do you know how hard it is to feel like you are keeping two teenagers entertained when you don't have kids of your own to help you figure out what kids like to do? Tonight the whole family is finally going to see "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" at the movie theater. I am "REALLY" looking forward to it. Then tomorrow it's a quick dash to the mall to pick up the 7th and FINAL Harry Potter book.

Oh, what am I avoiding? Figuring out our finances and calling the place ARC referred me to for a loan for IVF#1 this fall (hopefully). I really must call them and get the ball rolling, but the thought of even more debt gives me the chills.

More later, must find something to do with the teenagers other than sitting around watching DVDs all day.

At least tomorrow we can all sit around reading the new Harry Potter book!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Weepy, Wacked Out Cycles

My Stats

CD-no idea, I've got to get out the calendar and count
Pregnant-Unfortunately "NO!"
Weight-264 lbs.-Yikes (I thought I lost weight on vacation, but apparently not!)

Well, the good news is that XY & I are still alive and trying for a baby.
The bad news is...we're back from our wonderful vacation trip. Maine was absolutely gorgeous and relaxing. Once I get the pictures developed, I will try to include some on here for your viewing pleasure.

The other bad news is that despite all the rabid squirrel sex XY and I have been having lately in addition to the stress free vacation time, the pregnancy test I took this morning (after a slightly spotty, but basically non-existent period and some wishful thinking) came out with a decidedly heavy SINGLE pink line and I swear I could hear it saying "Na-nah, you're STILL not pregnant!" So, we will continue trying and hoping that we get pregnant despite this damn PCOS, but I guess for now I need to concentrate more on a healthy, less stressed, more exercise game plan. That and the whole IVF#1 thing.

Now that we are back from vacation, it is time for me to call the number I got from ARC to set up a loan for IVF#1 (hopefully sometime in September or October). It's really scary to think of all that debt (or whether they will even give us the money in the first place). It's even more scary to think of time passing us by and whether we should just concentrate on scrapping up money for an adoption instead.

Would I love a child as much if it were not mine biologically? If it were MINE (i.e. adoption goes through and we get to keep him/her) then YES. Would I feel sad about not having my own biological child? Honestly, YES, but let's face it here...a child, your child (whether it be born to you or adopted) is still a blessing (as long as it doesn't turn out to be a drug addicted, serial rapist/killer when it grows up).

So, although I feel like since we just got back from vacation, I have lost a day already. It's Thursday? What happened to Wednesday? I will definitely call the ARC number by tomorrow morning, since I have relatives arriving for a several week visit tomorrow afternoon and my privacy factor becomes greatly limited. Which also means I spend all day today and tomorrow morning hiding the "infertility" drugs, etc so that XY doesn't have to worry about my relatives asking him a lot of impertinent questions about our sex life.

Again, what happened to Wednesday? I now have less then 24 hours to get all this housekeeping done (and let me be the first to admit that I am NEVER going to be the best housekeeper in the world...EVER).

Have to go procrastinate and then get some cleaning done then procrastinate some more then madly clean all's a vicious cycle!