Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Tricking & Treating for IVF

TT=47 1/2 min
TM=2 mi
TTM=7.905 mi


Happy Halloween Everyone! I totally love Halloween. I love watching all the kids dress up in their costumes (most cute...but why do parents let their 8 year olds dress up as horror characters with the drippy blood...ewww "lost innocence") and come to the door for candy. It's the one time of the year I try not to feel guilty about feeding kids sugar and making them super hyperactive.

I (of course) bought way too much candy. We only got about 25 kids ringing the doorbell, so we ended up giving each kid three pieces of candy and still had some left over! Should I feel guilty that we didn't put the reese's peanut butter cups into the dish until the end (so there are A LOT of them left)?

The most ingenious costume, a girl dress up 1/2 as a devil and 1/2 as an angel. The cutest costume, a brother and sister dressed up as super girl and super man/boy. Halloween is a night where even if you don't have kids you can still be happy for all the children out there enjoying being kids!

As for me, I dressed up as an infertile haus frau for the holiday. (It wasn't a hard costume to make...I've had years of practice!) Next year I'd like to go as a "Mommy" but that would involve a lot of fertility drugs and medical procedures to happen.

On that note, I'm off to eat a lot of left over Halloween candy...pass me a reese's peanut butter cup will ya?!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Sydney Bristow (aka Jennifer Garner) is My Hero!

TT(Treadmill Time)=2 hr 24 min
TM (Treadmill Miles)=5.905 mi
TTM (Total Treadmill Miles)=5.905 mi

Episode=S1E1 "Truth Be Told" & S1E2 "So It Begins"
(S1E#=Season 1, Episode #)

I have a treadmill. It gathers a lot of dust. I bought it almost two years ago after my father passed away. It was supposed to be a symbol of a new life, a change in attitude. I was going to turn over a new leaf and become a lover of exercise, a new thinner, happier, healthier me. The dust is probably an inch thick by now and I am not a single pound lighter, but I have a plan.

I love the TV show "Alias". I have all five seasons on DVD and I've made a pact with myself. I'm going to re-watch every episode from start to finish, but I can't watch them unless I'm doing it while I walk/run on the treadmill. Sure Jennifer Garner didn't seem to have any problems conceiving her daughter, Violet, but she definitely seems to be a parent who likes the outdoors and getting exercise. Plus, the character she played on "Alias" (Sydney Bristow) could definitely kick ass against the bad guys and was always knee deep in exercise and action. I can't think of a better role model for trying to get my PCOS, overweight body in gear and try to embrace exercise, lose some weight, and hopefully make my body more fertility friendly.

The goal is to try to watch several episodes a week (although one a day would be perfect) while I'm walking on the treadmill. Each episode is about 45 minutes long (without commercials) and I think that's a good goal, especially if I work up to an episode a day. It's certainly more than I have been doing.

I started this past Sunday and watched most of the pilot (which was longer than an average episode). I ended up walking for 50 minutes and watching about 2/3rds of "Truth Be Told". Monday was super busy and I was a bit tired from the day before, but Tuesday morning I got up early for me (5:30am) and watched the rest of the pilot and then that evening I watched episode 2 (So It Begins) for a total daily time of 92 minutes. I've started off with zero incline and about a 2.5 mile speed/pace. I'm hoping to increase the incline by 1 degree each month and increase my speed by 1/2 a mile each month until I reach a 5 mile pace or have gone from walking for at least 1/2 hour to jog/running for at least 1/2 hour each session. (I can walk the rest of the episode time as a warm up/cool down period).

I think I'm off to a good start and I really think the whole "can't watch an episode of 'Alias' unless I do it while on the treadmill" will be a good motivator to get me started on the road to enjoying exercise. So stay tuned for further updates!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Robbing a Bank for Sperm

CD-0.5 (sort of started spotting yesterday and today, but no "full" day yet)
Weight-thank goodness, I have an excuse not to scale to weight myself available.

Pull up the getaway car...I'm not getting any younger, no time ever seems like a good-time (i.e. debt free and able to pull 12K out of a savings account)'s time to rob my security nets.

I think I've almost gotten used to the idea that I am a failure at conceiving naturally and I am "again" not getting any younger. The only way I'm doing this is IVF with ICSI (praying it will work and not all be one horrible waste of money and time and emotions). So, I think I'm at the point where I can actually make the call to close out an old retirement account I have from a previous job, close out a bank account that was my dad's before he passed away and pool every last darn bit of loose change from the couch cushions and get this thing done. I've begun dreading the next phone call from the RE's office when they ask if I want to do the IVF in November, basically if I have the money. I'm thinking it's time for me to be proactive and pull the funds, make the plan, and contact them before they call me and I go into "panic" mode again.

On that note, I want to say "Thank You" to Pamplemousse for inspiring me. If she can once again get on a 15 hour flight to try to make her dreams come true, then who am I to get an anxiety attack about closing out a couple of bank accounts and scrabbling around for enough money to even try this once? Please, please, please if any of you are out there reading this, send as many positive thoughts to Pamplemousse tomorrow as you can!