With the XY factor out of town for the week on business, I am trying to make the most of some "alone" time. I love watching movies, but because of "the job" I really haven't had much time for renting/going to the movies lately. I've supplemented over the last few months by getting as gifts/purchasing Season 3-5 of "Angel", Season 1&2 of "Once & Again", and seasons 2-4 of "Alias", and Season 2 of "Numb3rs". Along with a bunch of Agatha Christie "Hercule Poirot" movies and Season 1 of "Hetty Wainthropp Investigates". So, technically I haven't had to go through "entertainment on the celluloid screen" withdrawal.
I am however taking advantage of XY's absence and so I rented 6 movies to watch over the next week while I am working on house projects. The first one I watched was "28 Days" with Sandra Bullock & Viggo Mortensen. It's basically about this mixed-up writer who is addicted to drugs and alcohol and ends up having to do a stint in rehab after she drunkenly leaves her sister's wedding and drives the limo into someones house. Definitely a chick movie, but not as "feel good" as you would think. No girl cleans up act and ends up in the arms of the perfect man ending. Anyway, it got me thinking about addiction and recovery including the different types of addiction.
Can an infertile become too "addicted" to trying to conceive? Not necessarily addicted to the fertility drugs themselves, but addicted to the process and the rush of hope that goes with it. (As someone who has given themselves multiple injections daily and still not gotten pregnant I just can't see anyone getting addicted to Follistem, Ganirellex, or any other fertility drug.) I think that "hope" and "desire" can be very addicting. Anyone who's felt the effects of adrenalin and serotonin might agree.
I wouldn't say I'm "addicted" to infertility treatments (disappointed-YES, still trying-YES, loving it-NO) but getting back to that "weighty" issue I know that I am definitely some type of food addict. Not anorexic or bulimic, but definitely a compulsive/comfort eater. Stress me out and I go for the food. Feeling sad, feeling blue where's that sundae, chocolate bar, box of french fries, bag of potato chips? The entire binge eating issue is not for today's post. We'll leave it for another time, but after watching "28 Days" I am inspired to try something.
One of my worst food offenders is bread. It's not even my go to food, but it lurks in the background, waiting for me to notice it. One piece is never enough and unless it's for a sandwich it is usually accompanied by it's evil sidekick-"Butter Boy". (Clogger of arteries and willing servant of my arch nemesis-Mr. Obesity!) So, as part of my "race to regain my fertility" I am hereby declaring a BAN on all bread products for the next 28 days. It's my simple carb in the form of bread rehab stint. Starting tomorrow (May 2ND) I will not eat any bread (toast, sandwich bread, rolls, croissants [mmmm croissants], crackers, croutons, pita pockets, tortillas, or bagels [mmm bagels]) for 28 days. My only thoughts are while I don't think that pancakes or waffles (which I hardly eat anyway) would be considered "a type of bread", I unfortunately fear that I am going to have to classify "muffins" as bread. Especially since you can slice them open and slather them with "Butter Boy". (We've all heard of English Muffins haven't we and those are definitely bread in my book.) So wish me luck! I'll keep you all updated with my progress (like an inmate marking off time served on the jail cell wall). Now I just have to think up some kind of mantra for those tempting times. How's this..."NO Bread on the Lips, Less Weight on the Thighs or Hips....Go Fertility!"