Little White Pills

CD-1/2 (almost Day 1)
Weight-253.4 lbs
BMI-44.2

Days w/o Bread-4

Sometimes I think that the idea of ever having a baby is just a huge fantasy. It's like something right out of "Alice in Wonderland." It's falling down a rabbit hole, having to decide which side of the cookie you want to bite. It's relying on hopes, dreams, potions, and pills.

I finished the white pills out of my birth control pack. It feels so wrong taking birth control pills when I'm trying to get pregnant. I know that the RE has her reasons. I had three cycles with cysts and the "just rest and see if they go away on their own" directive obviously wasn't working. Hopefully taking the BC pills will even out my hormones enough to create a "normal" cycle. All I know is that I'm onto the placebo/iron pills of the pack and my period is starting. Not enough to call today (Saturday) day one, but I think I can definitely call tomorrow CD1.

If all goes well, this time I'll get the green light to shoot up a lot of infertility drugs (or should that just be fertility drugs) and XY and I can attempt IUI#4. Of course it couldn't be the worst possible time to try this with my work schedule this month, but the worst of my commitments don't begin till the 23rd. So if tomorrow is CD1 and we usually try an IUI between CD12-14, then at the worst CD14 would be the 20Th and I can just squeeze in the IUI before my stressful work deadlines arrive. (And we know how good stress is during all these proceedings!)

On a positive note, I've gone four whole days without any types of bread. I was really tempted to eat a burrito yesterday, but I stopped myself. XY came back from his work trip and the homecoming didn't go as well as I would have liked, but by the end of the day things had settled down so we went out to get a quick bite to eat. Dinner came with bread, but I passed it up. (It didn't even look very tempting.) I haven't told XY about my self-imposed ban on bread for the month, but he didn't seem to notice anyway. I also noticed that I dropped almost 3 pounds in the last 4 days so that's at least a "tiny" bit reassuring that this crazy idea might not be so crazy after all.